Reflection on Neo-Feminism

The development of the feminist movement is relatively young, Starting in the 60s. The number of “waves” associated with the movement vary based on one world view, but the general agreement is that some “waves” were established, each adding a new layer to the complexity of the fight towards woman's equal right and liberation. Since its inception, society and women have walked a long way, achieving improved status, freedom, and equality decade after decade. Women in the beginning of 2010 achieved everything the first feminists dreamed of. Most women in the West have achieved equality, freedom, and the pursuit of happiness. Making it one of the most successful and significant campaigns of the last 70 years. Women born in the 80s (meaning all women under 40) grew up in a world that allowed them to chase their dreams, pursue their careers, control their capacity to reproduce, and stand proudly under the slogan of a “strong, independent woman.” On all objective levels, these achievements could be the end of the “struggle” of the feminist movement. It is true that the reality was not perfect and that some small margins had to be aligned. But to the extent of the movement in general, the primary goals have been achieved, and all that was left to do was to maintain it and build together (men and women) a better world for ourselves and our children.

Unfortunately, like many other overstretched campaigns, after achieving its goals, most reasonable people went home to celebrate their achievements, while a group of fanatics stayed behind, frustrated and confused. This phenomenon is not unique to this movement. It can be observed in all levels of long struggles. After all, the fanatics dedicated themselves to the cause. Making it the center of their world and, in many cases, their source of income. They never thought about the question of “the day after .”After all, these people enjoyed the process so much that it became their endgame. Now that it is over, they have a serious problem. Their meaning in life is gone, and their income is with it. These fanatics get marginalized in many cases. They create niches and retreat into their own communities. Over time, they reintegrate into the new reality and find joy with their friends and families. Some never do. They are the “victims of peace”. They are the price society pays for overstretching a campaign. In the case of feminism, the movement went for so long and had such a success, that entire social structures have been erected for the cause. The demolition of these structures would be so significant for such a big group of fanatics that it couldn’t be done naturally. The war for women's liberation couldn’t finish just like this. It had to continue. A new, stronger, more abstract, and demanding “wave” was needed. But what can they ask for? What is there more to fight for when everything is going in the right direction?

The answer came fast in the form of the “4th feminist wave”. After listening to their claim for a while, I realized something very important. This wave is different than any feminist movement that came before it. At its core, it is a reconstructionist movement. It places men and women not as two units that complete each other but as two camps fighting for domination. At their core, the movement demands not only to have but be everything man “can be” while trying violently to explain that men should be less than what they “Want to be .” I’m calling it the Neo feminism. On many levels, I believe it is the worst development that the first wave of feminism could ask for. Its contradiction and consistency is far from anything woman in the 60s and 70s were fighting for. Making it probably the leading cause of the potential destruction of everything good women fought for decades. I believe that most people miss these changes due to the continuity of the movement and its name. They associate any woman movement with its original feminist movement. It is a tragedy for many, as it prevents us as a society from having a real discourse about the movement's outstanding achievements and makes us blind to the destructive forces leading the current Neo feminist movement. As I will cover in the rest of this article, the current movement's goals devastate our society. With all my heart, I believe that if we are to build a better society that equally serves men and women based on their nature, neo-feminism needs to be stopped.

In my view, Neo feminism can be called Marxist feminism. At its core, it is based on the struggle between oppressors and oppressors. Its techniques and cry are based on opening closed wounds to create a cause. The cries of the movements are based on abstract concepts and slogans, making intelligent, logical debates almost impossible. In this Neo Marxist view, Women are the oppressed, and men (and the patriarchy) are the oppressors. At its core, this philosophy is a zero-sum game, positioning man and woman on two opposite sides of a power struggle. Like all good historical Marxist movements, the core cry of the neo-feminist is based on theoretical slogans, at best, based on perception (feelings) and not reality. Making it one of the most unconstructive ideas on a social scale. This kind of Marxism has been tried many times, bringing misery, pain, and destruction to entire populations. The current iteration uses power struggle slogans. Presenting men as toxic, violent, incapable, and oppressive. While simultaneously presenting women as intelligent, slaved, struggling, oppressed, and victim. In this game, women can do everything men do, while men, at best, can be marginalized as they are an obstacle on the way to a utopia. There is no middle ground, no healthy collaboration concept, and no equality regarding entitlements.

Unlike other Marxist movements, Neo feminism believes in the superiority of women over men. An idea that reflects narcissistic immaturity. Overall, the idea that one of the sexes is superior to another is not only unprovable historically, it is an aggregate absurdity. Practically, we are all here thanks to men and women equally. Each played his role in the game of evolution.

Moreover, it is safe to assume that only a retrospective healthy collaboration between both sexes allowed the creation and survival of new offspring. A level of patriarchy existed in the family structure for an extended period. But even then, men couldn’t go to work in the field without women taking care of the house, while women couldn’t do their part without having food and shelter security offered by the men. The status of women was not equal in any way to men but was nevertheless necessary for family and society as a whole. Even in societies (as the Nordic) in which women had what could be described as more masculine roles, men from their side automatically took other roles. The general idea was that men and women are different in their nature and necessary for each other to create wholeness and continuity.

 To achieve their goal, the neo-feminists had to eliminate the biggest obstacle in their way. The idea is that men and women are different. By doing so, they could create an illusion allowing them to compare both sexes and put themselves on the top of their self-made pyramid. In their imaginary world, women can do everything a man can do (some claim even better), while men are obviously incapable of excelling in being a woman. From an egocentric, narcissistic perspective, it could never be different. If a subjective side is to be the person who sets the standard and then judges it with a self-proving bias, the idea that one can be like everybody, but no one can be like him (her) is understandable. By elevating women to an imaginary pedestal, a big step has been achieved in establishing the oppressed oppressor notion in society.

Many young women are attracted to this notion for the wrong reasons. All young adults growing up under the Boomer generation have been promised everything. The notion that we are special, that we can achieve whatever we want, That we deserve something, and that life is a game made for our win are all part of the notion of this new and young generation. Men and women have been fed this golden spoon. A dream that is based on wishful thinking of hoping parents. Unfortunately, life is more complicated and demanding, leaving many young adults unprepared for reality, which is hard, demanding, and ruthless. As people grow up, they realize that most people are not rich, famous, and not extremely successful. And for women, a serious challenge exists physically and economically in bearing children. This generation of lost women had to face reality, showing them that life is not what they thought it would be, comfortably positioning them in a self-imposed position of victimhood. As most women will not blame their parents out of love or already blame their parents for too many things, an alternative had to be found.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not blame parents or generations. They all came from love and hope for their children. TV didn’t help, either. After all, they are the first generation growing up in a world dominated by Disney movies and TV shows. The bottom line is that a structural dissonance has been created in many men's and women's minds between what to expect from life and what life really is. Unfortunately, this made many confused and wishful women search for a reason to explain their misery. One that will support the notion that they deserve something. One that will validate that they are the victim of an oppressive system and one that will justify their feeling of superiority. Not surprisingly, the Neo Marxist feminism ticks all these boxes.

One of the main problems with adopting the Neo feminist agenda is that it requires women to adopt its ideas and integrate them into their personality and self-identification. Once a woman has integrated into Neo feminism, everything is seen from that length regardless of reality itself. It becomes a game of how it feels instead of what it is. Paradoxes are unavoidable as most women in the West do not live in a patriotic world with no real aggressive and oppressive masculinity. Most importantly, Neo, feminism does not elevate women to a state of happiness and self-fulfillment. Oppositely, over time, most of the neo feminists find themselves lonely, angry, in bad relationships with their partners, and many times without a relationship at all. At this point, many women will double down on their madness and blame men for not reaching their standards. They will explain to themselves that kids are not the biggest source of happiness and fulfillment but a hurdle that should be avoided. Women who oppose neo-feminism and prosper are seen as the enemy on the women's front. And eventually, any social resistance to their narcissistic demands is categorized as a bigot, misogyny, phobic, or just men. It is a tragic paradox. One that cages many women in a corner that brings them misery. 

Old good feminism is one of the West's most meaningful and important movements. The notion of equality in front of the law is unquestionable. The equality of opportunity (not outcome) harms a functioning and healthy democracy. Regardless, equality in front of the law does not mean equality in personal relationships. In any group of people, no one is equal. Each person brings to the table their unique capacities and problems. Asking people to be more of what they are not for the sake of self-elevation is a bad tactic for healthy relationships. Pretending that oppression exists in a relationship that has been created by free choice is absurd. Explaining to a person he is bad at his core can not produce trust and love. Explaining to yourselves you deserve anything or that you are socially superior due to being born with a certain sex is unrealistic. There is nothing good or positive about the first principle of neo-feminism. It is destructive and oppressive for any person adopting it.

I believe most men and women would love to have a functioning long-term relationship with the other sex, but they are in dire need of guidance and forgiveness. Many people are missing a healthy path to walk by. One that will show them how to love instead of hate. A practical explanation that will remind them that they are not the same but complete each other. One that is based on trust and dependence. Not as enemies or oppressed people but as a couple that chooses to fight together the complicated process of succeeding in life and creating a functioning, happy family with kids and a supporting cycle of friends. I believe many people need to be reminded that their life is good and that their own demons are the main obstacle to their happiness. Life is definitely hard and demanding, but it is and has always been the case. Society and its individuals exist to support each other toward joy, love, happiness, and acceptance. On many levels, it seems neo-feminism is contradicting many of these pursuits. I find it hard to see how a philosophy that is busy hating and ridiculing 50% of the population can promote anything good.

Feminism has been hijacked by a group of fanatics who couldn’t leave the battlefield after a clear victory. A group feeds on young women by developing negative feelings about the world, their place in it, and themselves. As the rate of marriage falls, the amount of single-family homes increases, and a general divide is everywhere. I believe it is time we address this issue, give it a name, and start to tackle the problem. Men, as a whole, are not toxic, and women, as a whole, are not great. We are all humans trying to make the best of the little we have, and we need each other to achieve it. Purpose is born out of creation, connection, and effort. We are all good and bad. We will all prefer love over hate and prosperity over misery. Men and women are different, and they need each other. Most importantly, we are all in it together, whether we like it or not. It is time to stop this extremism, look each other in the eyes, apologize, and forgive. Let's celebrate feminism for what it achieved and move on together toward building a better society. Neo-feminism is a cancer that is eating us alive. We need to stop letting our demons guide us. We can do better as men, women, and society at large.

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